Added: Sioban Mccoll - Date: 09.07.2021 21:39 - Views: 46252 - Clicks: 5214
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the online community Community rules Coping during the Coronavirus outbreak. My ex husband of 6 mths has not told our children twin boys 20 and translady boy forum daughter 15 that he is transgender and has started to transition to a women.
He has agreed to tell the kids with his psychologist and me. I have no idea how the kids will react they are good respectful kids but I feel they have no idea this is coming I didn't when he told me I was totally blindsided. Before anyone comments on me using the words husband and he I am not ready to change over just yet.
I know it can be hard to deal the a drastic change such as a transition. It sounds like you are trying to be supportive even when devastated by the end in marriage and feeling like you are losing the person you used to know.
It can take a while to adjust. Remember their heart is the same, just how they want to identify and appear will change align to how they feel inside. I think you are taking the right steps for yourself and trying to make sure your kids are ok with their parent translady boy forum.
Changing pronouns can take a while. I know you want to be respectful, but at the same time you are conflicted because changing the pronoun means saying the other person your ex-husband is now gone and will now be more of an ex-partner We are all human and we all make mistakes and sometimes prouns can take some time to adjust. It maybe easier to try use gender neutral pronouns such as 'they' and 'them'. I'm not too sure if there are support groups for families with a member transitioning.
I did find this useful link from the Queensland government.
There are more references on groups they can access on there. Although it says youth it is for all ages. It can be a heavy burden knowing a secret you know you will have to bring into the light. Have you made sure you are looking after yourself? Have talked to a psychologist about this.
I know you want your kids to be ok with it, but you also need to make sure you look after yourself and your mental health. I do sort of understand how hard this has been for my husband he is in his 50 s and times now have changed. But I do feel he got married had kids because that's what society said men should do but now we have to travel this journey we never asked for. As a mother I don't want my children to go through pain of any sortbut I know they have to go through this change and I'm not sure how it will all turn out.
I do fully believe the kids will distance themselves from their father once he tells them. He has not developed a good relationship with them all the way translady boy forum and has in the last year stepped right away from them. To the point he doesn't really talk to one of our sons.
I will be the one how takes them home after he tells them and I'm the one who will need to help them process this totally. I have tried to become stronger in myself as I know this is going to happen.
I've investigated where the kids can go for counciling One boy goes to RMIT and they seem to have great resources to access counciling. And my daughter can access hepace plus I have thought of a teacher at her school, who I know well, who will be a great support for her. But on the other hand he has not dealt with me or the kids in a positive way that might help us understand or to continue to have a relationship with him.
Our financial agreement came down to him wanting money and not considering that I have the kids with me and I am supporting them financially, he thinks that because the boys at 20 they need to be independent financial, because he was at that age. They are full time uni students and work when they can.
I only have 4 sessions under the Medicare levy with my psych so I need to use them wisely. She has helped me greatly but Translady boy forum know I still have a long way to go. I was diagnosed with depression through all of this and now take medswhich have helped me level.
It has also bought up things that happened to me in the past that I thought were delt with and gone But I know now they never go you just get better at dealing with it. Thanks for chatting with me or helps to just get things out and have people understand where I am. The teacher I have thought of to talk to is very supportive of all people and I trust that she will only tell other staff if she needs to. I will definitely talk to my daughter first about who I talk to at the school. I know she might want school to be her safe place where she can be just herself and not think about wants happening in her family.
But I want one person I trust totally to be there if she needs support. Which I think she will I just don't know how the kids will react.
I class them as not worldly its hard to explain they have had shelted lives I know they respect people and are open minded but this is going to blow their minds. My friends that I have told keep saying kids are resistant and might cope ok. I don't think they will cope very well. It might take them a while to come to terms with this and me as well. I was going to get my nails done last night something I haven't done for ages. I talked myself out of it due to the cost, as I'm now support ing myself and three kids my boys are working as much as they can. Then I find out by accident that my X went and got his hers done with no thought of the cost just the enjoyment.
In a way I think I'm being petty but I feel I have taken on the total care of our kids financial and emotionally we went into having kids together and fought hard to get them they are IVF but now he has pulled right away. And I am left picking up the pieces. I love my kids unconditional and will go to the end of the earth for each of them no matter what Im just finding it hard doing this all on my own Translady boy forum for him to tell them he is trans gender .
I did agree with him that he would tell the kids and I think that should still happen he needs to take responsibility for this as it's happening to him. Plus it's for the kids not him. Once he tells the kids I don't care who knows and I will be telling people why we separated and what has happened. I translady boy forum kept the peace for the kids but once they know they need to work out what relationship they want with him and I will respect that. But I don't have be friends with him he has hurt me too much. We have just accepted an offer on the house and I can rent it back for 12 mths which will help me out.
He won't be welcome anymore unless the kids want to see him. Which I don't think they will Might go get my nails done tomorrow morning as he's coming over tomorrow to the offer on the house and he would have to take his nail polish off Little bit vandictive For anyone else reading this please remember I'm not disrespectful towards transgender peoplejust the way my X has treated me and our kids in all of this. I do believe that each and every person has a right to lead the life they feel they need to as far as being gay or transgender.
I understand why my X is transioning as that's who they are supposed to be and he has fought it for a long time. My issue is him personally and how he has dealt with this and how he has not taken my feelings or needs I to consideration we were married for 22 years and have three great kids But he has stepped back totally. People tell me he is the same person in the I side he'll just change his looks on the outside but that's not what I see. The way I see it I know the male verson of him and there is an other whole female version of him that I don't know Please be your self but just be mindful of the people that you love and translady boy forum love and support you.
Thanks for the clarification I was wondering As far as my finances I will continue to rent for up to three years until my daughter has finished school as we need to live close to the school as my daughter rides her bike to school and I need a four bedroom house and in the area I need I can't afford to buy plus i would need to out all to most of my share into a deposit and then I would have nothing to fall back on if something went wrong. I am happy to rent for now and later will see if I can buy something even as an investment.
I plan to travel the world in three to four years Time. I'll take a year off and travel Just for me. Sounds like you have had a really torrid time. I have just read this entire thread and the one thing that seems to be a really hard thing is the Kids. I have two daughters and came out to them about 5 years ago. Instead of drifting apart I have become much closer to them and their mother. They are my life and always will be. I have sought to find resources for all of them to help them cope throughout my transition.Translady boy forum
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